I just want you back.

I had a lovely christmas this year. My aunt came over, she's been on her own for a few years now, after my nan died, so my dad invited her to spend christmas with us. In the evening when she had gone home, me, my dad, my mum and my sister sat talking about my nan. About her christmas pudding, and how i would have liked it. I never got to try it, she was always in a wheelchair from when i was little, and then she was confined to her bed. She never got the chance to make it again.

My dad was telling us all these stories about how lovely she was when he was a child. He was closer to his nan than he was to his own parents. Then he told me something that really upset me, it really got to me. My nan lived to be 98 years old. For about 4-5 years she was in her bed. Never leaving her bedroom. We all thought she was going to go a few months after she was told she had to stay in her bed. But she kept on going. My dad told me, that the only reason she kept on living was for me, my little sister and my cousin Ben. It made me so happy to know she did that. She must have been in pain, but she lived for those visits from us. I'd give anything to have just one visit again. I miss her so much and it hurts at christmas when she isn't there, it hurts on boxing day when we don't go over to see her and have another christmas day there. It hurts even going over there with her room still empty.

It upsets me and pains me to know she won't be there so see me pass my GCSE's, or see me get married. She would have been 101 this year. But she never got to see that birthday. And sadly she'll see no more birthdays.

I'll never forget you nanny, the pictures may fade but my memories of you will never go away. ♥