love. live. life.

i'm trying to get back into the swing of blogging. i've been quite slack lately and i want to keep up with it. blogging is my way of getting my feelings across, it's my online journal to be honest.

i've an awful week to be perfectly honest. tuesday was the worst day by far though. the only good thing to come out of it was my english result. we had to write an essay on texting and mobile phonest. most. boring. thing. ever. 3 hours of my life that i'm never going to get back. but anyway, on wednesday we found out our results, and i got a B. i was proud of myself, i'd tried hard and my work had paid off. yesterday i found out that the boundaries had been moved and my mark had gone up to an A! i was even more proud of myself. other than that my week has been pretty crap.

i've got the opticians today, i'm like 5 years overdue! so i kind of need to go. i wonder if they do it differently? i havn't had my eyes tested since i was 10 and i vaguely remember looking at letters on a board that got smaller as you went down, and touching something. the rest is a blur. i wonder if its all changed now? i'll ask my sister, she goes often because she has glasses.

i've only been back at school a week and a half and i'm already in desperate need of a holiday. my school have been so mean and just piled the homework on me. which isn't a nice thing to do on their behalf. and we're also doing work experience, we should be finding out our placements soon. until then we're working from this green booklet, which basically tells us all this stuff about how to make a good impression on an employer yadda yadda. it's pretty boring, but i guess it's meant to be helpful, so i won't be too critical. just yet...

when we do this kind of thing i really want to grow up. i want to leave school, get a car, buy a house, get a job and start living. i'm half way between becoming an adult and leaving childhood. i hate being classed as a child, i want to be treated like a grown up. i'm 15 not 2! but i guess when i'm 18 i'll question why i wanted to grow up. when i've got bills to pay and lunch boxes to fill i'll ask why i wanted to leave my childhood home. i don't want to leave my mum and dad. in some way i just want to be a little kid again, when i had no worries. but others i want to be grown up and fulfill my dreams and live my life the way i want to.

being a teenager is so goddamn annoying, hormones are flying everywhere, one minute your really happy, the next you're on the floor in tears. decisions need to made. some big some small, but everyone feels like it's a life or death situtation. why is life so hard? :/