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Woaah. Long time no post, had so much going on, had my maths exam on Tuesday. Easier than I thought it would be. And I have my English tomorrow, got to write a film review for Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet.

I've really been quite low for the last few weeks to be honest, so I'm going to take the time to apologise for the really depressing posts. It's just my friends aren't being so friendly at the moment. Let's just say 'Fucking Perfect' By Pink is the song that really means a lot to me at the moment.

My friends are just constantly picking at me. About every little fucking thing I do. If I talk to the boys who hang around with us for a while and then go over to them I get the whole Oh My Gosh Hannah Is Actually Talking To Us scenario. I said to them today 'Why do you always say that?'. All I got was 'You never stand with us'. I said 'Yes I do', but all I wanted to scream was 'You think I'm wrong? All you do is make me feel like shit because all you do is pick at me. I can't do anything fucking right by you lot, you make me so insecure, you make me feel like such a bad friend when all I do is try to be a good friend. And this is how you fucking make me feel. Thanks a bunch, you guys are real good 'friends'.

I didn't though, as angry as I am I really can't be doing with the arguments. My life is messed up enough as it is, I don't need an argument on top of it all. So I just turned to my friend who hadn't said anything and started fiddling with her hair.

I'm just so fed up of all the snide remarks. I understand the boys doing it, they're immature and don't know any better. But my girl mates just do it to be bitchy. They wonder why I don't stand with them. The boys aren't as bitchy as they are.

I'm sorry that I'm always complaining in my blog posts. I just feel so alone and so upset that this is the only place where I can post without being judged and sniped at. The only place I feel understood. I feel better sharing my life and feelings with complete strangers.  And I also apologise for the swearing, I'm just so angry and upset that I convey my anger through swear words. So I'm sorry.

I just can't be doing with this shit anymore.